Sam, has been suffering from erectile dysfunction. His doctor prescribes Viagra. When that fails he prescribes Levitra, then Cialis. Nothing works. Sam becomes depressed, despondent, and begs his doctor, Surely there is something, anything, that can be done. The doctor ponders a moment and says, Well, there is an experimental treatment in South Africa. It involves transplanting animal tissue into your p***s.

What sort of animal? Elephant.

The procedure extracts elephant stem cells from the trunk.

These are then cultured, and implanted into your p***s. There is some risk of rejection, of course, and the side effects are unknown. Doc, Ill try anything. So, Sam boards an airplane for South Africa, where he undergoes a month of therapy. The rejection problem is overcome, the cells take hold, and Sam is sent home to recover. Three months later, Sam is feeling normal again. His p***s works, at least with a video in a dimly lit room. He decides to take the plunge, and makes a date with Mary, an old flame who is sadly aware of Sams previous difficulties. They meet at a restaurant for dinner. Mary hears all about Sams journey, the risks, the trauma. In sympathy she puts her hand on Sams leg and begins toying with his calves with her toe under the table. Sam feels a stir in his loins.

A painful stir. The pressure mounts.

Discreetly, he unbuckles his pants and unzips the fly part way to relieve the pressure. Suddenly his p***s leaps from his pants, rises above the table, gropes around the table cloth, finds a bread roll, grabs it, and disappears. Sam grabs the table, turns white, and breaks into a sweat. Mary is startled, of course, but she quickly regains her composure. She looks it him with raised eyebrows. Then considers the possibilities. Wow. Can you do that again? Through clenched teeth Sam says, Probably. But I dont know if I can fit another bread roll up my ass.