I, the P***s, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labour I work at great depths I work head first I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation I work in high temperatures My work exposes me to contagious diseases Response from the administration: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods You do not always follow the orders of the management team You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas. You take a lot of non-rostered breaks You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured andstimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of yourshift. You don't always observe OSHA measures, such as wearingthe correctprotective outfits. You don't wait till pension age before retiring. You don't like working double shifts. You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work And if that were not all, you have been seen constantlyentering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.