LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.

MARRIAGE - When you argue over money. LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own.

MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi.

" LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room. MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to complain.

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. LUST - When all you write is your phone number.

MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks. LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings.

LUST - When you couldn't give a shit.

MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..." LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week...

" MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief. LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.

LUST - When you only see each other naked. MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE - When nobody else matters.

LUST - When nobody else knows.

MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio. LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about. LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about. MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought. LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.

LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.

MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.