"I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone." "I like to reminisce with people I don't know." "I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything." "I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast." "I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking, " but I don't have that much time.

" "I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."" "I wrote a few children's books.. not on purpose."